DNA in Manila

Coyote

Bummer. Big time bummer! I kept mumbling as tried to cool my temper. I think my blood pressure shot up way past the ozone layer.

It is just one of those days that nothing goes right. On top of all the worries I have, the kids were really hyperactive the whole day. No matter how many times I tell them to cool it, till I’m blue in the face, they just won’t listen! Then, just as I typing away a story that’s been brewing in my head, my 4-year-old son knocked over my coffee, spilling it on the keyboard. Now I have to dry it out first before I can use it, if I can still use it again.

I decided to text one of my friends, to wish her a nice weekend ahead. While waiting for her reply, I got up to get another cup of coffee. When I went back to my phone, I saw that my son was holding it, looking guilty. I looked at my phone, lo! An error message is on the screen, and it hung. Great, another trip to the repair shop. So what’s next?!

I think my kids felt I was almost at the brink of exploding because they’ve stopped running around and were just quietly building their Lego blocks and watching cartoons.

As I was checking on the keyboard, my son walked up to me and said, “Don’t worry, Mommy, it is going be fixed. You can fix it”.

The way he said it, caught me off guard. He said it in a tone full of utter trust and confidence in me. It was like he meant more than the keyboard, but to all other problems I kept in my heart.

I realized that this kid, in all his innocence, believed in me. He sees me as the mommy who can fix anything. I wish I have that confidence in me too. But I guess I’m getting too old for that.

I guess I’ve become a skeptic. Worse, there were moments when I feel nothing - nothing at all. It’s like there’s a shut-off valve in me that stops me from feeling any emotion at all. This numbness doesn’t even sadden me, when it should have! How can I not feel anything?!

I looked at my two sons. They were so oblivious to all the cares in this world. For them, the world is all about playing. I envy them. I wish I can still see the world through rose-colored glasses.

But I guess that is just about growing up. You get to have responsibilities that you have to do, and expectations that you have to meet. How nice it would be not to have these loads on you shoulders, but I guess, that’s LIFE…

I’m turning 29 next week. That’s still pretty young. Yet today, I feel ancient. I wonder if this is a “pre-birthday” blues…

I was shaken out reverie by the laughter of my sons. They were laughing at Wile E. Coyote chasing Road Runner on TV. Every time Coyote runs after Road Runner, he ends up falling from a cliff. Yet on the next scene, he is up again, ready with another trick.

Maybe life’s like that. If you chase something that’s not really meant for you, something comes up to block you from getting it. Or, if you are really determined to run after it, then be prepared to fall along the way, and learn how to get up after every fall. Although, sometimes, you’d wonder, until when should we stop chasing?

You have to admire Coyote for his unending determination. Maybe people should be more like that. Never give up what your heart desires. And, maybe, eventually you’ll get it. If not, then just charge it to life’s experiences…another lesson learned…

For the meantime, I have to give it another go at the keyboard. Maybe it will still work. And besides, my kid expected me to fix it. I can’t let him down. I am the Mommy who can fix anything, after all.

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